shelter from the storm

'twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood
when blackness was a virtue and the road was full of mud
i came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form.
"come in," she said,
"i'll give you shelter from the storm."

and if i pass this way again, you can rest assured
i'll always do my best for her, on that i give my word
in a world of steel-eyed death, and men who are fighting to be warm.
"come in," she said,
"i'll give you shelter from the storm."

not a word was spoke between us, there was little risk involved
everything up to that point had been left unresolved.
try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm.
"come in," she said,
"i'll give you shelter from the storm."

i was burned out from exhaustion, buried in the hail,
poisoned in the bushes an' blown out on the trail,
hunted like a crocodile, ravaged in the corn.
"come in," she said,
"i'll give you shelter from the storm."

suddenly i turned around and she was standin' there
with silver bracelets on her wrists and flowers in her hair.
she walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns.
"come in," she said,
"i'll give you shelter from the storm."

now there’s a wall between us, something has been lost
i took too much for granted, i got my signals crossed.
and just to think it all began on an uneventful morn,
"come in," she said,
"i'll give you shelter from the storm."

well, the deputy walks on hard nails and the preacher rides a mount
but nothing really matters much, it's doom alone that counts
and the one-eyed undertaker, he blows a futile horn.
"come in," she said,
"i'll give you shelter from the storm."

i've heard newborn babies wailin' like a moanin' dove
and old men with broken teeth stranded without love.
do i understand your question, man, is it hopeless and forlorn?
"come in," she said,
"i'll give you shelter from the storm."

in a little hilltop village, they gambled for my clothes
i bargained for salvation an' she give me a lethal dose.
i offered up my innocence and got repaid with scorn.
"come in," she said,
"i'll give you shelter from the storm."

i'm livin' in a foreign country but i'm bound to cross the line
beauty walks a razor's edge, someday i'll make it mine.
if i could only turn back the clock to when God and her were born,
"come in," she said,
"i'll give you shelter from the storm."


by bob dylan

with god on our side

oh my name it ain't nothin', my age, it means less.
the country i come from is the free, open west.
i was taught and brought up there, the laws to abide,
and that the land that i live in has God on its side.

oh, the history books tell it, they tell it so well.
the cavalries charged, the indians fell.
the cavalries charged, the indians died,
oh the country was young, with God on its side.

the spanish-american war had its day,
and the civil war, too, was soon laid away,
and the names of the heroes, i was made to memorize,
with guns in their hands and God on their side.

the first world war, boys, it came and it went,
the reason for fighting, i never did get,
but i learned to accept it, accept it with pride,
for you don't count the dead when God's on your side.

the second world war came to an end,
we forgave the germans, and then we were friends.
though they crucified millions, and it can’t be denied
the germans, now too, have God on their side.

but now we got weapons of chemical dust
if fire them were forced to, then fire them we must
one push of the button, they shot the world wide
and you never ask questions, when God is on your side

through many dark hour, i’ve been thinkin' about this:
that Jesus Christ was betrayed by a kiss.
but i can't think for ya, you'll have to decide
whether judas iscariot had God on his side.

so now as i'm leavin', i'm weary as hell.
the confusion i'm feelin', ain't no tongue can tell.
the words fill my head then fall to the floor
that if God's on our side, then he'll stop the next war?

by bob dylan


* guess i'm kinda in a bob dylan mood

The World Race

so i finally got the call last night from adventures in missions (aim) telling me that i am accepted for the world race!!! *scream* i am so excited! i pretty much walked around with a smile on my face the whole day today :)

i was just on the site again though www.theworldrace.org and i couldn't believe that i actually want to do this, and i am actually going to do this. i must be insane! the things that i am going to see, the constant moving, the possibility of having to live in a tent for a month or a roach infested hotel!!! oh that alone makes me want to cry. those of you who know me well know that i have a major roach phobia. also, i will just be living on basically whatever i can carry on my back!! and it's suggested i only bring a weeks worth of clothes for an entire year! so this is awesome! i am definitely going to be challenged! it's going to be amazing to experience life with as little as possible. a simple life. i have always talked about living simply and now here is my chance!

i am looking forward to this experience with both fear and excitement! i can't wait to meet the 4 or 5 people that i will be teamed with and who will become my family. i can't wait to live simply and actually live outside of comfort and be dependent on God for things i have never had to depend on Him for before. i can't wait to meet the people who live in the cities i will be visiting and hang out with them and love them and eat with them. i already love them and i don't even know them. i can't wait to see the way God is going to grow me on this trip and change me even more into who He created me to be. I feel as though I am ready to leave tomorrow, but I know that is impossible there is so much that needs to be done and so many things God is going to teach me before i leave in September.

follow me

But Samuel replied:

"Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
and to heed is better than the fat of rams."
I Samuel 15:22

why do we feel that we know more than God? God specifically ordered Saul to destroy all of the Amalekites and everything belonging to them. Everything belonging to them, including animals. Saul decides to save some of the animals, the ones he found to be good, to sacrifice to the Lord. This was displeasing to the Lord and Saul loses the throne.

i'm struggling. obedience is something i strive for, but it is so difficult for me not to think my way is better.

i am always in such a hurry to get on to the next phase of my life. in middle school i couldn't wait to go to high school. in high school i couldn't wait to get to college. in college i couldn't wait to get out of school and i felt "start my life". now i can't wait and am eagerly searching for what is next in my life. everyone tells me that, "you are where you're supposed to be." and i believe that for the most part. I know God is shaping me and has been shaping for what he has called me to do. It is just difficult to be patient and to obey.

He has taught me so much about love and truth and justice. He is not bound by anything! it's so easy for religion to create God in their own image and for them to give him limits and claim to know everything about His Law and His Truth. I am so thankful God is not bound by religion! I am so thankful that He is defined as Love and Truth, and humans have very limited understanding on either.

But still i fail in being obedient when the God of Love and Truth calls me to "be still and know that I am God." why are relationships so difficult, yet so vital to our existence! my relationship with God is pretty one-sided right now. me talk you listen, God. one-sided relationships never work out well though. they become stagnant. i don't know why i am finding it difficult to listen to Him? i think i am afraid of what He will say. i think i am afraid of what's next or what's not next. I am starting to doubt myself and my dreams. are they real? yes, they are! i know they are. fear and doubt are my biggest adversaries.

I keep being reminded of this verse in John chapter 21. it takes place after Jesus is ressurected and he is with his disciples. Peter and Jesus are walking along talking and Jesus says to Peter,

"I tell you the truth, when you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted; but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go." Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, "Follow me!"
Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, "Lord, who is going to betray you?"). When Peter saw him, he asked, "Lord, what about him?
Jesus answered, "If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me."

i honestly don't know why this verse affects me so much. i think it is because i hear Jesus saying to me "follow me" and my response is like Peter's. i look around to see what other people are doing. what are you calling other people to do? i compare my gifts with theirs and ask are you sure you want me to follow you? i want to follow Jesus. i really do! i want so much to be like him, but i doubt myself and my abilities. i fear the dangers of love and mercy and forgiveness and truth, but i know they are greatest things i will ever know. does that make sense?