Sunday, December 10, 2006

Safety.

Why is that i feel that the people in this country feel the only thing worth dying for right now is the freedom/safety of our country? Now don't misunderstand me. I am not speaking against the war and I am not speaking for the war and I know that there are a lot of people who may not agree that there is anything worth dying for. Hear me out though. I'm talking about this country's view of safety. I'm talking about our rights as citizens of a country based on freedom, and ultimately i am talking about the cost of following Jesus.

When people decide to join the army, no one asks them "is it safe?" It would even be considered unpatriotic to tell them not to go and serve their country. And most parents would be looked down on to say they were not proud of their child for fighting for freedom. right? at least this is the case in my understanding.

How come then when I tell people that next year I will be traveling the world to help people, i get the lecture of safety and what do your parents think? and i don't feel like my parents are proud of me. their first response was don't go. why do you hate us? and their reaction is to argue with my views on everything -political and spiritual. i feel like they don't even listen to me anymore. they automatically tune me out when i start talking, i feel it. here is an example; the other day my dad and i were disagreeing (as usual about the war) and i started to tell this story of why i stood where i did on the war and i started to cry (i've been doing that a lot lately) and i hate crying in front of my dad I try not to, but it was a sad story and i felt his non emotional response. and my mom was sitting on the other couch and she was just like "it's okay, that was sad." and honestly maybe this is selfish or i don't know but really what i truly wanted at that moment was for my parents to hug me and cry with me for the people whose lives are being torn apart by this war. for the children who are suffering because of this war. why have we allowed ourselves to be so separate from this war? We compartmentalize and tell ourselves that "those people" deserve to die. they are all bad and terrorists and ......blah blah blah. it makes me so sick!

okay i said this was not going to be a war post...moving on i just feel like the people in this country including majority of christians feel there is nothing worth dying for except nationalism. we have become a people so in love with our country it can do nothing wrong. there are so many examples of this. we as citizens of america are supposed to keep our leaders in check. i think we are doing a terrible job at it. we are supposed to be a country against oppression and totalatarianism and any other idea that takes away the God-given freedom of every human being on this earth! or at least that is my understanding of the revolution and the declaration of independence (correct me if i am wrong). Instead we have become one of Power and i feel world domination. the more wealthier and powerful we can make this country the better. No matter who we step on or hurt (i.e. sweatshops! oppressive wars! racism!)
how does our government go about choosing the "oppressive country" it is going to help? what about cuba and china? how come their dictators aren't worth overthrowing?

I know it sounds like i hate my country, but i don't! In fact I am thankful for the freedom my country offers. There is so much potential and we have done good things! I am worried, though, about where America is headed. we need to be careful! we need to be careful about nationalism and becoming closed minded to other countries forms of gov't, religions, points of view. we need to be careful in trusting that our government always knows what is best for us; as with the safety issue. our government, it seems is so concerned about our safety. They started that color chart that alerted us on how dangerous that day was (red, orange, yellow,etc). they can tap into our phones and our computers. our government has the ability to follow us and keep tabs on us to make sure we aren't planning on doing anything illegal and that makes me feel violated. where is my freedom if the government is consistently watching me? we have even thought about censorship, and it becomes a question of would i rather be free or safe? and i would chose freedom over safety any day! death is a part of life and freedom should be as well.

so what is my point? Fear is a dangerous emotion! it makes us desire anything that promises to protect us. even if that means more government and less freedom. fear of death is even more dangerous. Can life really be worth living without a cause worth dying for? Without risks?
Is the safe way really the better way?

The western church has taken away the cost of following Jesus. Christianity is so common and accepted as a norm in this country especially in the south, we don't know what it means to be persecuted for our beliefs. the church has even gone so far as to involve itself with the government. christians have become nationalistic. we have become blinded to our countries problems. the only ones we seem to notice our the abortion rates and cases of gay marriage. wake up, church! wake up! what about the other crisis in the world like AIDS! Rick Warren's church held a conference recently in raising awareness on AIDS. more congregations and christians need to clue in on this and join in. Also, I mentioned this before but sweatshops. if every christian stopped supporting companies that use sweatshops they would be put out of business or have to take better care of their workers. Just like if every christian donated $20 to helping people with AIDS we could probably stop the spread of it and end the disease. Other issues like Sex Trafficking and Slavery! The church can help put an end to these things as well. but it may not always be safe. It may cause us pain and some people may lose their lives. It will definitely cause us to hopefully be uncomfortable and realize that if the church won't spread the kingdom of God, he will find people who will. It reminds me of John the Baptist in Luke 3. He says to the Jews, "do not say to yourself I am a child of Abraham, because God can raise up children of Abraham from these very stones!" As the church we become like the jews, and say but we are His bride. He loves us. We are his chosen ones to do his work. if we don't do it though God will raise up people to do his work. ones that the church would look down upon. the ones that we would least consider "godly" like the rockstars and the actors. God is so Amazing!

People we can not live in fear! We are called to live in Love and "Love casts out all Fear!" My parents are afraid. They think I am going to die. Honestly, I am afraid, but I don't think I am going to die. i am more afraid because of the pain i think i will feel on this trip both physically and emotionally. I know that God loves me though and I believe it and it is because of His Love that I want to live my life loving and serving others even if it means pain and ultimately death. this body is not immortal. One day we will all die. it is one of life's guarantees. With that in mind I choose to use my freedom and follow a dangerous and loving Savior wherever he leads me.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

friends till the end...

Recently, i listened in on a theological discussion about prayer. they discussed whether intercessory prayer was really necessary or prayer in general if God already knows how everything is going to happen.

We asked the question: Why do we pray? Is God really outside of time? Our are futures really set in stone? Does prayer work?

the group came to a conclusion that "we pray because we are commanded to pray." Jesus tells us to pray and teaches us how to pray. a relationship with God is dependent on us praying. If we have a friend we never talk to we would call that more of an acquaintance than a friend. To be God's friend it is important to talk to Him. prayer allows us to walk through this life with our friend, God, at our side.

that tells us why we pray, but what about God being outside of time and intercessory prayer?
and if God is outside of time than can we pray for the past and the future? When if it is more like God lives in eternity, but the future is now. So yes, He sees the past happening and the future... i'm confusing myself.

Remember, the story of Moses and the Israelites where he comes down from the Mountain and they have made themselves an idol. God becomes so angry He says He is going to destroy the Israelites and make a great nation from Moses. Moses pleads with the Lord though not to destroy the people and both the text in english as well as in Hebrew say that God changed His mind. Did God know He was going to change His mind? or Did He have a different future in mind?

Can God change His mind? In other texts it tells us that our God is unchanging. I liked how one lady in the discussion said that as we are walking with God and we grow in our relationship maybe He is willing to negotiate with us on somethings, but with other things He tells us that this is the way it has to be. I don't know if I agree with that, but I thought it was interesting. i also think it is interesting to think that maybe God doesn't have the future planned out on every point. Does that take away His control? If we have free will though can God really know exactly everything that we are going to do? Does that make Him less powerful? I don't think it does, but i know people who do.

I really am not going anywhere with this post. I just thought these were thought provoking questions on prayer. over the last couple of years I have learned not to be afraid of these questions. The more I ask and learn the bigger God gets and the less able I am to define Him, which is great! I will probably never have God all figured out, and I will know Him for an eternity. that's crazy!

Monday, December 04, 2006

Spirit of the living God

Spirit of the Living God
Fall afresh on me.
Melt me,
Mold me,
Fill me,
Use me,
Spirit of the Living God
Fall afresh on me.

Tony Campolo. i heard him speak a couple of times this weekend and each time God tore at my heart. the last time i heard him speak after his prayer he started to sing the song above and it was so powerful and beautiful. He is so beautiful. He is so honest. He spoke of poverty and being a red letter christian and our culture of consumerism, and hearing him speak was like hearing the words of God. I imagine I felt how the Israelites felt when Moses would come down from the Mountain and tell them what God says. a sense of awe and admiration and fear. In a way tony scares me because it's obvious he and God are tight, but he is so humble admitting his shortcomings and knowing that God is still molding him into who he is created to be.

this last weekend in Charlotte was a difficult one for me. very emotionally draining and physically as well. i felt like we were constantly attending seminars and general sessions, because we were. there were just so many amazing speakers i and nobody else wanted to miss. there was not one day though that God did not tear at my heart about someone or some issue. I mean the first night we were there we went and listened to Leeland and their song Tears of the Saints which i have heard several times before; this time tore me up. it is such a powerful song. I heard God speaking to me this weekend, and hearing Him and His word makes me cry; maybe because it's been so long since i have actually opened my heart to hear Him. i will write more about the weekend later, because i also got to meet another person who has impacted my life and challenged me, Shane Claiborne. that is another blog though. peace.